Topic: Masturbation

Question: Is it okay to masturbate to sister and cum on her stuff?



Thank you for your question.  Masturbating is when a person touches their own genitals because it feels good.  Masturbation is private, which means you do it when you are by yourself, or with a consenting partner in a private place.  In Canada, a sister is never a consenting partner for sex (even if they say it is ok), so it is not ok to masturbate when your sister is with you.  Cum is a slang term for ejaculation, or when semen comes out of the penis.  Because it is private, it is not ok to ejaculate on someone else’s property.  If you are masturbating and imagining your sister, it might be helpful to try to imagine other people instead.  This can help make sure that you keep healthy boundaries with family members.

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Topic: Masturbation

Question: My ten-year-old daughter masturbates often and recently she has started to do it in public. How do I deal with this?


Answer: Rubbing or touching the genitals (masturbation) can create exciting and pleasurable feelings. Masturbation usually starts early in life when an infant discovers that touching the genital area can produce pleasurable feelings. It is natural for people of all ages to be curious about their bodies and find genital stimulation pleasurable.


How a parent reacts to a child’s masturbation may affect how the child will come to feel about their body. Parents (and grandparents) can help children to understand that rubbing or touching one’s genitals is not ‘bad’ or ‘abnormal’, but that it has its proper place. For example, rubbing the genitals is okay when done in a private place such as one’s bedroom.


For some teens masturbation can be a good release of sexual tension and this can be difficult for parents to accept.

Topic: Too Much Affection

Question: My child is overly affectionate to everyone and I feel this may put her at risk. How do I teach my child about safe boundaries?


Answer: This is often a problem and of course we do not want to dissuade a child from showing affection, just give them some guidance on what is socially appropriate and physically and emotionally safe. Unfortunately children with disabilities, especially as they get older, “live under the microscope” and are given a hard time for social mistakes.


Children will need very clear examples, nothing too vague. You may need to make up a pictorial guide of people that s/he can be affectionate with. It can take up to six weeks to establish a new habit and much longer in many cases so you will need to give lots of positive reinforcement. Be sure to tell others who work with your child what you are doing and have them work on this also.
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Topic: Friendships versus Romantic Relationships

Question: My student thinks that every girl is his girlfriend in a romantic way and this is beginning to cause problems. How do I help him navigate friendships and dating?


Answer: It is important to discuss and work on the distinction between friendship relationships and romantic relationships/love. Explain that romantic relationships are much more serious and encompassing. Talk about people in your own lives and their relationships. You can also use examples from TV shows.

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All of the question box answers will be posted on this page, so that other people can learn from them. If you do not see your question posted within five working days, please resubmit your question. Your question may not be answered if it is outside the scope of sexual health.